Letting Go: 10 Ways of Finding Peace Through Detachment

This episode we’re diving deep into the art of detaching with love—from people, outcomes, old identities, and the illusion of control.

Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring—it means you start choosing peace over fear, trust over control, and wholeness over dependence.

✨ You are not your job, your relationship, or your past.
 ✨ You are whole, with or without the things you once clung to.
✨ Self-love, solitude, and presence are your superpowers.
✨ And sometimes... the most powerful thing you can do is simply breathe and release.

Whether you're holding on too tightly or afraid to be alone, this episode is your reminder that you are enough, exactly as you are.

🎧 Tune in, pause, breathe, and take the first small step toward more calm, clarity, and peace in your life.

Transcript

Hey friends, welcome back or thank you for finding us as we create space to learn the art of detachment...to take a moment to pause, breathe, and take inventory of your life, your heart, and your mind. I’m so glad you’re here and if someone sent you this episode to listen to, then thank them for thinking of you and wanting to see you shine even brighter and hopefully by the end of this you will want to do the same and share this with someone else that you care about.

Today, we’re exploring something that sits at the core of so many of our struggles, and also the key to so much of our peace: learning how to let go and detach in a healthy, compassionate, and empowering way. Now, this isn’t about cold disconnection or pretending not to care. This is about finding your calm within the chaos, your clarity in the unknown, and your strength in yourself. So let’s dive right in and start with #1...these are in no particular order and you can try one or all of them and still get positive results so let’s take a breath...and get going.

#1: You Are Not Your Attachments
Let’s start by naming something we all do: we attach to people, roles, jobs, and outcomes—and then we start to define ourselves by those things.

"I’m successful because of this job."
 "I’m worthy because this person loves me."
 "I’m safe because everything is going as planned."

But what happens when the job ends? When the relationship changes? When life veers off course? If we’ve built our identity around those things, we suddenly feel lost. The truth is—you are not your job, your relationship, your title, or your past. You are you. Your values. Your truth. Your heart. Your knowing.

The rest? That’s just life unfolding around you. And life is meant to be fluid. It’s meant to evolve. When we define ourselves by our inner world—not by what we’re attached to—we stop falling apart when things shift. Because the foundation of who we are stays steady.

Let go of the need to cling. Let yourself flow with the changes instead of resisting them. That’s where your real peace lives.

#2: Let Go of Needing All the Answers
Here’s something else we tend to hold on to: the want and in some cases it feels like the need to know.

We want guarantees. We want to know how it’s all going to turn out.
 “What if he leaves?”
 “What if I lose my job?”
 “What if everything falls apart?”

We don’t like the unknown and the uncertainty but that’s truly life. It’s all uncertain and nothing is a sure bet. But those questions can keep us frozen in fear. Here’s a new question to ask:
What if it all turns out better than you imagined?

What if the loss becomes your liberation?
 What if the ending is what brings you home to yourself?
 What if not knowing is the exact thing that allows the right thing to find you?

Letting go also means loosening your grip on needing all the answers or of needing closure or the need to be right, to have the last word. Closure is not necessary to moving forward..you can choose to move forward without closure and just leave whatever it is wherever it is so you can move forward in peace. Letting go means accepting that sometimes, you have to just let it be. Trust the process, even when you don’t understand it. Uncertainty is not your enemy. It’s the space where the unexpected beautiful things in life can grow. It’s where your own growth takes root as you pivot and build resilience. 

#3: Enjoy the Now—Because It’s All You Truly Have
One of the deepest acts of letting go is this: letting go of what might happen and being fully present with what is happening.

If your relationship is working right now—enjoy it. If your job is fulfilling today—be in that gratitude.

You wouldn’t wait until your car breaks down to finally appreciate how well it’s been running. So why wait to appreciate your life? Or your love? Yes, things are impermanent...everything in life is temporary and that’s the whole point of not attaching so tightly because it is all so temporary. That’s not a reason to fear—it’s a reason to cherish it.

Everything in life is borrowed. And that’s okay. That’s what makes the moments so precious. So next time your mind drifts to the future—bring it back. To now. This breath. This connection. This love. This moment. Let now be enough.

#4: Realize Pain is Inevitable
So that sounds like a little bit of a downer but we all experience pain. Pain is part of being human. You’ll lose things or people..whether it’s a job or a relationship. You’ll get hurt or you will hurt someone. Things won’t always go your way. But here’s the truth that changes everything and that is a Bhuddist saying of Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Pain is a part of life whether you cause it or it is caused to you, whether it is physical or emotional, whether it’s intentional or not. Suffering on the other hand is what happens when we resist the pain. Or when we obsess over it and keep it on a loop. When we replay the story a thousand times and try to rewrite the ending...I wish I’d done this, I should have done that. Suffering is when we don’t simply allow the pain to flow naturally so we can find the learning in the flow, and instead we hold onto to it and it becomes a constant part of us. By not letting it flow we can’t see the the whole of what brought the pain, we don’t become the observer so that we can find the knowledge in it or the path out of it.

Learning to let go doesn’t erase the pain—it doesn’t stop the hurt that you were cheated on, that you were talked down to, that you were mistreated in whatever way, but it does end the suffering.You can feel sadness without letting it consume you. You can feel loss and still keep your heart open. You can be hurt and still choose to heal. Your peace begins the moment you stop fighting reality, stop holding onto the pain and start flowing with it.

# 5: Self-Love is the Foundation for Detachment
So how do we start letting go in a real and lasting way? Through self-love. This is the most powerful, practical path to healthy detachment.

Because when you love yourself—when you see yourself as whole and worthy—you stop needing others to fill a gap. You stop depending on external validation to feel okay. You don’t let go of love—but you let go of neediness. You let go of attachment that comes from fear.

You become whole with yourself. You stop looking for your better half or relying on your better half. There is no “better half.” You are whole. Anyone else just adds to your happiness—they don’t define it.

This is the kind of self-love that isn’t loud or flashy. It’s steady. Quiet. Deep. And it gives you the power to show up in relationships without losing yourself in them.

#6: Embrace Solitude as a Superpower
One of the biggest fears that keeps us from letting go is the fear of being alone. But here’s a shift that can change everything: being alone is not the same as being lonely. Find the power of solitude to replace the pain of loneliness and it’s all based on perspective. After my divorce, my friends and family were amazing but let’s face it, they all had their own lives to live. They couldn’t be with me to fill up my time especially on the weekends. During the week I could stay busy with work and then it was just a few hours at home I needed to fill so that was easy. But the weekends were really hard for me until I started thinking about all the places I could go and why wasn’t I going there? Because I was alone and no one was available to go with me? But because of that I was robbing myself of enjoying these places, these museums, the outside gardens, the walking tours in Boston. I realized that if I was in those places for work, if I was on a work trip I would have no problem enjoying sightseeing and eating at a restaurant alone. It was the pity party I was creating in my mind of you’re alone, you have no special person to share this with that stopped me from enjoying it. So I began going on adventures on my own as if I were on a work trip and just enjoyed the experience. So alone does not need to equate to loneliness.

When you’re alone, you get to hear yourself clearly. You get to reconnect. Reflect. Rest. Dream.You don’t have to view time alone as something to be avoided. It can be a gift. A space to fill your own cup. To walk, read, journal, breathe—on your own terms.Be your own best friend. Be the person you enjoy spending time with. Fall in love with your own company.

Because the more you value your solitude, the less you fear being alone—and the less you cling to people out of fear. When you relate to others out of your own fear and insecurities, you will be willing to settle for less than, you will be willing to accept bad behavior and put your values at risk. Letting go and finding the power in your solitude will help you stay grounded in your values and your own self worth.

#7: Let Love Breathe
Now let’s talk about love—and the way we often hold it too tightly. We think that if we just hold on a little harder, they won’t leave. If we just control things enough, we’ll feel safe. But love doesn’t thrive in tight spaces. Love needs a lot of room to breathe.

You’ve heard the phrase, "If you love someone, set them free." But real love doesn’t need to be set free—because it was never trapped in the first place. Love that’s real, safe, and grounded in trust doesn’t require holding on. It invites freedom. It invites honesty. It says: You’re free to be yourself, I’m free to be myself and I love and trust you because of that freedom.

Remember that jealousy isn’t love. Control isn’t love. Those are symptoms of fear. And when you start letting go of fear—love can actually grow. Love people deeply—but not desperately or at the expense of yourself. Let your love be a sanctuary where you find your peace and calm, not a cage where you’re fighting to survive.

#8: Diversify Your Sources of Love
One more way to let go with grace? Stop putting all your joy in one basket, diversify your love sources. Any good investor will tell you the best way to build your capital is to diversify your portfolio so that if any one stock or industry collapses, you don’t lose it all. It’s the same with the types of love in our lives, the more we diversify and have different sources of love, the less likely we are to lose it all if one collapses. When we rely on one person, one relationship, one job to make us happy—we’re setting ourselves up for the possibility of a full on emotional meltdown if that one person, that one job grows out of our lives.

Instead, build a well balance, well rounded life that holds you. Make space for different kinds of love—friendships, family, mentors, creative passions, nature, community. All of it adds richness to your life. This way, if one thing shifts, your entire sense of identity and happiness doesn’t crumble. You’re supported from all sides.

Let your life be full of love—not focused on one fragile thread of it.

#9: Let Go of the Old You
And maybe the hardest one of all: Let go of who you used to be.

Sometimes the person we’re clinging to is ourselves. Or at least, a version of us that no longer fits. Maybe it’s the person you were before the heartbreak. Or before the loss. Or before life got hard.

Maybe it’s the version of you who was more confident. More carefree. More fun. But here’s the thing—you’re still here. You’re still growing. You’re still worthy. You’re not meant to go back. You’re meant to go forward.

Let go of the past version of you—not with shame, but with love. They got you here. If you hadn’t gone thru what you did, you wouldn’t have learned what you needed for right now. Getting hurt in a relationship maybe taught you what you really want in a relationship the next time..or what you don’t ever want again. All the prior versions of yourself were all necessary for your growth...And now it’s time to become who you’re meant to be next.

#10 - Let Go of Your Stuff
I have no knick knacks in my house. I only have a few pictures on a table but very little stuff. I remember someone once asking me if stopped caring about some of the things I let go of as if letting go of the physical item meant I didn’t care about the memory or the person it was tied to. But for me, the stuff is just stuff. Keeping an old letter, some old pictures, a stuffed bear someone gave me doesn’t keep that connection to that person. We need to all keep our connections to others in a more direct and personal way. Call them when you think of them, send a text when something reminds you of them and if they are no longer with you, then speak to them in spirit. Go to the gravesite and have a chat but the less you rely on the stuff, the less clutter you have and the less likely you are to create anxiety if the stuff breaks, if you lose it. Clutter in your home becomes clutter in your mind...I’m not saying don’t keep anything but focus more on the true connections and less on the symbols of those connections.

Letting go isn’t giving up. It’s growing up, it’s glowing up and finding your peace to shine. It’s choosing peace over control. Trust over fear. Wholeness over dependency. It’s not about detaching from life—it’s about engaging with life from a grounded, centered place within you.

So today, ask yourself:

• What am I holding on to that’s weighing me down?
• What fears are keeping me from trusting the flow of life?
• What could I release to make space for peace?

And then—breathe. Let it go. Even just a little. You don’t have to do it all at once. Remember—were all about small steps forward here and that’s all it takes to start detaching and letting go.

Thanks for spending this time with me today. If this episode spoke to something in you, share it with a friend or come back to it the next time you feel that grip tightening again. Growth isn’t just about adding...sometimes it’s about releasing so remember that you don’t need to attach to anyone or anything to feel whole...you are and have always been whole, you are and have always been enough. Keep loving yourself and letting go of what no longer serves you, to gain more peace and calm in your life little by little and peace by peace.