Stop, Start, Continue: A Compassionate Reset for a Peaceful New Year

This episode invites you to slow down and reflect—without pressure, resolutions, or self-criticism. Using the Stop, Start, Continue method, we explore how to release what no longer serves you, gently begin what supports your growth, and honor what’s already working. A compassionate, practical reset for the new year rooted in mindfulness, self-awareness, and small intentional changes. 

This isn’t about reinventing yourself—it’s about noticing what matters, choosing what supports you, and continuing what’s already helping you heal and grow. 

Transcript

Welcome, friends, I’m really glad you’re here. Whether you’ve been listening for a while or this is your very first time pressing play, I want you to know that this space was created for moments exactly like this one. Moments when life feels full, complicated, or quietly heavy—and you’re craving a place to pause without needing to fix anything. This podcast isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about slowing down enough to notice what’s working, what’s hurting, and what’s asking for your attention next. It’s about choosing small, intentional shifts that bring a little more peace into your days, and a little more compassion into the way you treat yourself.

So wherever you are right now—driving, walking, sitting in silence, or stealing a few minutes just for you—I invite you to settle in. Take a breath. Let this time be yours. As this year begins kick off as you may know from last week’s episode, I’ve been thinking a lot about reflection. Not the kind that demands resolutions or drastic reinvention, but the kind that simply asks us to pause and take stock. To look honestly at where we are, how we got here, and what this past year has taught us about ourselves. Because growth doesn’t always come from doing more or becoming someone new. Sometimes it comes from noticing. From naming what feels heavy, what feels supportive, and what feels ready to change. And today I’d like to offer a tool for this kind of reflection, a simple, practical method called the Stop, Start, Continue method.

It’s been used in corporate settings, coaching sessions, journal prompts, and performance reviews, but when you apply it to your own life, it becomes something a little more intimate. Something that can help you identify areas that you want to work on, areas you are struggling with and areas you want to aspire to. And it’s something that gives structure to encourage our own self-awareness.

So today, we’re going to walk through it together. Stop. Start. Continue. Three small words that can change the way you approach a new year, not from a place of self-criticism, but from a place of self-honoring. So let’s begin. Let’s start with a breath. In… and out. Let this moment be quiet. Let it be yours. Because before we ask what needs to stop, what wants to start, and what deserves to continue, we need to slow down enough to actually hear ourselves. The internal noise. The truth behind that noise. The quiet voice inside that’s easy to ignore when life is rushing past. So let’s take this time and really focus on you, on me, on us right now, right this moment.

So let’s talk about the first category: Stop. Stop sounds harsh but it can be gentle. Stop is compassionate. Stop is an invitation, not a punishment. Stop asks: What is no longer serving me, even if it used to? What patterns, habits, or beliefs are quietly draining me? What am I carrying that feels heavier than it needs to be? Stop doesn’t mean “I failed.” It means “I’m learning.” And we learn a lot over the course of a year.

For some people, stop might mean stepping out of the habit of saying yes when every part of your body is whispering no. For others, it might mean stopping that cycle of snoozing your needs because you’re keeping everyone else afloat. Maybe it’s stopping the self-talk that tells you you’re behind, or not enough, or you’re too much. Maybe it’s stopping the belief that you need to earn rest, earn love, earn belonging. For some of you, stop might sound like: I need to stop basing my worth on someone else’s approval. Or: I need to stop ignoring the signs of burnout. Or: I need to stop replaying stories about who I used to be, and start meeting myself exactly where I actually am.

Stop can also be external. Stop giving energy to relationships that only take and never give. Stop participating in drama that never needed you in the first place, especially other people’s drama. Creating and supporting drama can become a the toxic habit that you don’t even know you’ve picked up. Stop trying to be someone’s savior when they never asked you to, or when they have no intention of saving themselves. We have to let people run their own race and stop giving them crutches.

Stop is the boundary that protects the new version of you that’s trying to emerge. And here’s something important: Stop doesn’t require perfection. You do not need to stop something forever. You just need to stop long enough to create space for something new.

Which brings us to Start. Start asks: What do I need more of in my life? What do I want to build, nurture, or explore? What can I begin, even in a small way, that will help me feel more aligned with who I’m becoming, where I want to go, who I want to be? Starts don’t need to be big. In fact, the smaller the better, you want it to be doable. Maybe your start is:

Start choosing rest before exhaustion.
 Start speaking to yourself with the same kindness you offer everyone else.
 Start showing up in relationships in a way that feels balanced, not one-sided.
 Start asking for help, not because you’re incapable or weak, but because you’re human.
 Start moving your body in ways that feel good, that feel healthy, not punishing.
 Start rebuilding your confidence, quietly, consistently.

For some people, the start is deeper. Start believing that you’re capable of change. Start trusting your intuition when it whispers, “This isn’t right for you.” Your gut and your subconscious is picking up on cues you don’t realize but they are there so start listening to the way your body responds. Start letting yourself dream again, not because everything is perfect, but because hope is a muscle, and it needs practice. Start is a beginning. But beginnings don’t need fireworks or big fanfare, they just need intention. They need commitment and consistency, not pressure.

And then we move to the final piece: Continue. This is the part we often overlook. Every year, we focus on what went wrong. What we didn’t do. What we want to fix. But Continue asks a different question: What did I do well this year? What am I proud of? What have I built that deserves more of my attention? What small habits, relationships, or truths actually supported me, even if I didn’t realize it until just now as we’re reflecting? Continue is honoring. It’s rooted in gratitude.

Maybe you continue the way you learned to pause before reacting.
 Continue the way you created healthier boundaries.
 Continue the friendships that brought you joy and safety.
 Continue the slow mornings and time you made for yourself because you know you deserve it.
 Continue the therapy, the journaling, the walking, the deep breathing.
 Continue the practice of choosing yourself, even if it was only once in a while but hey, you did it.
 Continue the steps you took, even the tiny ones which is what we’re all about here, to heal the parts of you that were hurting.

Continue says: I am doing some things right. And those things matter. Now, I want to take this deeper. Because Stop–Start–Continue is not a list of tasks. It’s a way of seeing yourself. It’s a structure that, when done with honesty, can shift your year from autopilot to intention. So let’s zoom out a little bit. Let’s look at how this reflection ties into your relationships, your physical and mental health, and your sense of purpose.

Let’s start with relationships. Because relationships often reveal the version of ourselves we bring to the world. When you look at the relationships in your life, ask: What do I need to stop doing that damages connection? Maybe that’s people-pleasing at the expense of your truth and your own peace. Maybe it’s shutting down when things get hard because while that may feel easier, it’s just delaying the inevitable. Maybe it’s keeping the peace externally while breaking your own peace internally. 

Then ask yourself: What do I need to start doing to strengthen my relationships? Maybe that’s communicating earlier instead of letting resentment build. You know that old “well you should know why I’m mad” and then resent the person when they don’t know because guess what, they can’t read your mind. Maybe it’s being honest about what you need and sharing your needs. Maybe it’s choosing intentional friendships over convenient ones.

And finally: What should I continue doing, because it’s working and it feels in alignment with your life? Maybe you’ve become more patient. More present. More supportive of yourself. Maybe you’ve learned how to hold space for others without losing yourself in those relationships. That’s worth continuing.

Next, let’s talk about your physical and mental health. Because when you think about past resolutions you’ve made or attempted to, they tend to focus on external achievements, weight loss, gym routines, strict diets, and they rarely consider the internal world that actually drives change. It’s your internal world that determines your success in change. So let’s reframe it.

What do you need to stop doing that harms your physical or mental well-being? Maybe you’re skipping meals, you’re doom-scrolling and then wondering where your time went, ignoring your stress, or pretending you’re fine when you’re not. What do you need to start doing that supports your health? Start making yourself a priority in your own life. Start building a bedtime routine you can stick to. Start acknowledging when you’re overwhelmed. Start picking one good food replacement, you don’t have to overhaul your whole way of eating but just one thing at a time.

And what should you continue? Maybe you’ve been taking deep breaths when things feel hard. Maybe you’re better at resting. Maybe you’ve been kinder to yourself this year, and that deserves to stay.

Now I need to do the work as well so I’ll share my stop, start continue with you and that way I not only hold myself accountable, but now all of you might hold me accountable as well. When I first was thinking of this, I wrote, I want to stop complaining. And I don’t mean just about silly things like if someone didn’t replace the toilet paper, I mean complaining about others. It’s so easy to gripe and complain about coworkers, family members, even those we’ve never met but we hear their stories. We justify it by saying we’re venting, we don’t mean anything by it. But those negative words can still create a reaction in your mind and body regardless of why you’re saying them. So my thought was I want to stop complaining and speak as if the person is in the room next to me. So if someone does something that impacts me at work or at home, say things out loud only if I would say them if they were in the room. But when I shared this with a friend of mine, I realized that I may be setting myself up to fail because for those that know me, you know I’m a very vocal person and I don’t hold anything inside. I feel better to release my emotions and not hold it in and let it fester. So I will have to really think about, am I sharing and releasing or am I just bitching and complaining? So I’ll see how this goes and share how I see the difference and how it feels into the new year. 

And what I want to start is to be consistent in my daily meditations. I was so good for a while listening to the Daily Jay on Calm (and I’m not getting sponsored by them, it’s just what I like to do)...it’s just a 7 minute meditation with Jay Shetty and I love it but I listen for a few days and then I stop and there’s no reason...it’s only 7 minutes! So I will start listening every day, even if it’s not first thing in the morning. If I don’t do it in the morning to start my day, I feel like it’s too late but really it could be while I’m driving to or from work and I think these daily meditations will help with my stop and create less complaining. And my continue has to do with my physical and mental health. I’ve been years working on my peace, my understanding of why I do what I do and changing my defaults. I will continue this journey and continue eating close to the ground, moving my body daily even more because hey, I’m past the 60 mark now and I have to take my health even more seriously. And of course I will continue this podcast, sharing in any way that may help others because I feel like that is now part of my purpose. In fact I will be heading to a podcasting conference in a week to learn more and hopefully share what I’ve learned with you in upcoming episodes! 

I feel like this podcast is part of my purpose and let’s talk a bit more about purpose because that can feed into your changes into 2026. Purpose is not a lightning bolt. It’s not a grand mission. It’s not something only certain people have. We all need purpose to feel more alive, to know our lives are heading in the right direction. Purpose is built through small, intentional choices that align with your values and the way you want to show up in life.

Purpose reveals itself through action, thru small changes that keep you feeling like you are finding your true north. Your purpose doesn’t need to impress anyone. You don’t need to save the world, you don’t need to donate all your money and live like a pauper, your purpose, whatever it is, just needs to feel true to you. The Stop–Start–Continue method helps make that clarity visible. It shows you what to let go of. What to cultivate. And what to keep watering. And maybe the most powerful thing this method teaches us is that growth isn’t about dramatically changing your life at midnight on January first. It’s about shifting your life one moment at a time, one decision at a time, one reflection at a time, and your purpose will show just by itself.

Now, before we wrap up, I want to offer you a few gentle reminders to help you stay grounded as you move into a new year.

One: There is no deadline for self-improvement.
 Two: Change is most sustainable when it’s slow and compassionate.
 Three: You do not need to start over; you only need to continue becoming.
 Four: Your worth does not rise or fall based on your achievements or what you have or don’t have.
 And finally: You don’t need a new year to become a new you, but sometimes, a new year is a beautiful moment to sit still and acknowledge how far you’ve already come to help you keep that movement forward. So as you move into January, I hope you take these thoughts with you: You are not behind. You are not late. You are not lost or broken. You are simply in a state of beautifully becoming. Stop what no longer serves you. Start what your future self will thank you for. Continue what is already growing you in quiet, powerful ways.

I’m so grateful you’re here and taking time for yourself. And I can’t wait to walk with you into a new year. A year of learning who you really are meant to be, of making those small intentional choices to align yourself in the life you are thinking of, the life you can see. If you can see it, you can be it no matter what comes into your path. Don’t forget to hit that follow button and share this with anyone you think might benefit from this. I’m ready to keep going on this podcast and I appreciate you sharing so we can see how we can help each other keep moving forward, how we can help make our small part of the world better, kinder and more loving, little by little and peace by peace.